When editing fanfiction stories, I sometimes run across some real doozies as far as the ability to spell and to use homophones is concerned. If you can’t spell, then Spellcheck very often is not your friend, LOL! The results are often unintentionally hilarious. Here, for your entertainment, is a list of quotes gleaned from a Harry Potter/Lord-of-the-Rings crossover story. (Why even write that? I don’t know. Don’t ask me.) But it’s definitely good for a laugh!
“It is time to someone the hair of Ellendale.”
After this came the war of the rings, where the Dark Lord Sauron was defatted on the slopes of Mount. Doom. (Liposuction is such a terrible way to die.)
After lunch Isildur went with his Astronomy professor up to the Astronomy tower to learn about astronomy. (No. Really? You think?)
This boy was of course Harry Potter who had survived the killing cure at the age of 1 year old.
In there first class they learned how to read the end trials of a chicken, not the most present class they ever had. (I can only imagine…)
The Black speech is the language of the Land of Mordor and is a fowl form of elvish. (The Chicken of Doom speaks it, too…)
“So in some ways I was right for dining it and in some ways I was wrong for it and Harry I apologise to you for living you with them for 16 years but I wanted to make sure that everyone knew that your parents were gone before having them return. Does that make any since to you?” (Nope, not in the least!)
Suddenly the eye of Sauron papered in the water and it evaporated, the visions vanished.
Then he dismissed them, called forth his servant Wormtail, pulled back the sleeve of his robe, and put his figure to the Dark Mark on it.
It was wired because he had never had a dream like that before unless you cont the one he had in ‘Things that where, Things that are, and Things that yet may be’, but he really didn’t think of it as a nightmare as it was darning the day. (??? Don’t ask me.)
Then he turned to Dumbledore and said “You know how you gave me three of Fawkes fathers for wands.” (Yikes. Fawkes’ mother was busy!)
Isildur looked at Navel. (That, believe it or not, is supposed to be ‘Neville’…)
After having breakfast Isildur had a shower and got dreaded.
Once Harry was full he started work on his essay on “The Effect of the Salem Witch Trials had on American Winches”. (My guess? Not much…)
They were Advanced Transfiguration by Minerva McGonagall and the Slandered Book of Spells Grade Number 7 by Miranda Goshawk.
He then handed an envelope to Sirius, who opened it immodestly.
He then sat down and the second elves stood up and said “I am Logrolls of mirkwood.”
Then King Elessar stood up and walked over to Isildur and said “The Army of Gondor is at your disposable should you need them.” The king of Rohan walked over to him and said “The riders of the Mark are also at your disposable, young hair of Ellendale.”
They walked to Mooing Myrtles bathroom. (Being fed up with moaning, Myrtle turns to mooing.)
And for a closing statement:
Finally, Gandalf’s face diapered from the fire.